Tuesday, September 11, 2007

No News is Good News, and This Definitely isn't Good

Finally, we received an update from our social worker. Unfortunately, no new referrals were received, but a 12 year old girl was placed who was a waiting child. It's always so nice to see older kids getting to have a family of their own, but especially when that older child is at the age of adolescence. That is incredibly difficulty age group for almost any parent, but to bring a child of that age into your family really shows that family is very special. There are about 6 families curremtly in Vietnam with their children.

The big news, but definitely not the news any of us waiting families want to hear is that wait times have increased. New families being added to the list are being told over 2 years for a girl (this has been so, for many months), but they are now saying the wait times for those waiting for a boy will now be 18-24 months. Our agency does expect the wait times for many people currently on the list for boys to be closer to 15-18 months, but this is just an estimate. Referrals the past few months have really been slow, so they say if referrals continue to be slow the wait times could increase even more, but then if we start getting more referrals, wait times could speed up. Expect the wait to be longer and then if it turns out to be shorter than one can be pleasantly surprised. So who knows we can have anywhere from a year or two wait. This is especially depressing when you are waiting for your first child and getting to be an older parent. The way things are looking I'll be past my 40th birthday, before a child is even a possibility. What's even worse is that since adoption in Vietnam isn't centralized like in China (each agency works with one or several orphanages, so wait times and referrals differ from agency to agency and orphanage to orphanage.) Because of this difference between agencies and orphanages, there is a big fluctuation in wait times. Also, there are unfortunately several unethical agencies, that find ways to get many young healthy infants; thus the quick wait times and large numbers of referrals. Hopefully these agencies will be shut down and not the entire Vietnam adoption program. Anyone considering agencies, please do your homework and if things sound too good they usually are. There is a yahoo group where one can research agencies that are licensed in Vietnam. I do not have the link, but search under Yahoo Groups for "researching Vietnam adoption agencies". Also anyone considering agencies, use only licensed agencies. The Vietnam Embassy requires all adoption agencies to be licensed for Vietnam adoption. Some agencies umbrella or piggyback with a licensed agency and this too is illegal. Sorry for being such a downer today, but I now feel somewhat better.

7 comments:

Melissa Czaszwicz said...

We are right there with you. Well, actually pretty far behind, but we feel that frustration as well.

Karen said...

I know how frustrating all of the changes can be!! I am praying that those referrals start rolling in this month! Hang in there!

Becky and Keith said...

I'm so sorry to hear about the extended wait time. With the Russia program, we see the same kind of thing - our wait time just extended a few months and there are also agencies that get little kids in 4 mths time vs. the 10 - 12 mths it takes most other agencies. I agree - if it sounds too good to be true, it is. I hope things pick up a bit for you! P.S. I did NOT forget about sending you the Siberian Story DVD. I can get it to record, but I can't play it back on any old dvd player so I need to play with different kinds of DVDs. As soon as I get some spare time, I will definitely do that. I'm so sorry!

Lauren and Jim said...

Yes, I feel your frustration. This rollercoaster of emotions just never quits. Just when it seems I am at peace with the wait--it becomes a little longer. It is good to know that we are all in this together, and we all understand how it feels. Hang in there, and let's just hope things pick up.

Oh-and I am so glad you mentioned the problems with unethical agencies. I really think that we, as soon to be adoptive parents, should encourage prospective families to do their homework and only work with ethical agencies. Supporting the "bad guys" will only hurt everyone in the end. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Amanda and Bill said...

Sorry to hear the waits are increasing, how frustrating. My husband is a pediatrician and is always his buisiest with newborns during the month of September from all the conceptions at Christmas. So, we'll hope for a large influx of referrals in November to coincide with VN New Year!

Anonymous said...

So Sorry but I know that your dream of becoming a mommy will happen. Hopefully the referrals will pick up and you and your baby will be together soon. Thinking of you, Diane

Janna said...

Oh, Kathryn. I'm so sorry to hear the waiting times are still so long. I'm sure it will all be worth it in the end though when you're holding YOUR little baby in your arms.